


Promises

by ImDyingLeaveMeAlone



Category: JJCC (Band)
Genre: Contrary to popular belief- this is not crack for once, Ghosts, Halloween, Supernatural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 03:14:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8429323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImDyingLeaveMeAlone/pseuds/ImDyingLeaveMeAlone
Summary: Henry came back. Originally titled 'Poulterdouche'





	

**Author's Note:**

> completely unbeta'd, so probably riddled with mistakes (wanted to post something for the holiday) But this is a story I have had brewing in phone notes for about a year, so I decided to finally work the whole thing out. Hope you enjoy.

_Take care of him…  Take care of Henry for me…_

 

They had been Eddy’s last words.  In the hospital, on his deathbed, those were his last words, his last wish.

 

Well, he would honour that wish.  He would take care of Henry Prince Mak, despite previously wanting nothing to do with him.  For Eddy.

 

 

***

 

 

The streets of Seoul felt empty without him.

 

Henry hugged his jacket closer around him, against a chill only he felt in the warm late summer in Korea.  He always felt cold these days, since the moment he heard the news. 

 

Actually, that statement was false.  When he heard his ex boyfriend had passed, the only thing Henry felt was numb.  A complete absence of feeling, direction, orientation.  His whole being entered the void, and it was only when his manager was putting a warm cup of tea in his hands many minutes later that he snapped back into himself.  And suddenly he was brutally aware of the absence, and all he felt was a frigid burn throughout his limbs.

 

He had tried to take a sip of the tea, but he was shaking so hard it spilled onto his fingers and he had to set it down.  Someone was there, pressing a towel to his wet fingers, and he thought someone was asking him if he was alright.  Henry knew they were talking about his fingers, but that was the last thing Henry could think about.

 

No, he wasn’t alright.  Eddy was gone.  Eddy was gone, and Henry would never see him again.  He would never get to say anything to him again.  He’d never apologize, never lovingly call him an idiot, never thank him.

 

In the week since he heard the news, Henry still hadn’t managed to be alright.

 

The streets of Seoul felt even more unfamiliar, now that he was returned for the funeral.  In the dusk light, every storefront blended together as his taxi wove it’s way toward his old home, the dorm where he had lived with Eddy for so many years.  Where so many things had happened.  Watching the scenery pass by, Henry wondered if it all hadn’t been a dream, born of semi real things he had known in reality.  Had he and Eddy really snuck out for breakfast at that McDonalds after a night of drinking?  Had they really walked their dogs through that alley?  He almost wished they hadn’t, because if Eddy wasn’t real then he couldn’t really be dead.

 

But he was.  Eddy was dead.  Eddy was dead. 

 

“Eddy is dead.”  Henry felt his lips move and heard the words, surprised as he felt he had no control over them.  The usual clenching pain in his gut accompanied the sound of his name.

 

“Did you say something Prince?  Are you okay?” The manager in the passenger seat had turned and was looking concernedly over at him.

 

“Yeah, I’m fine I just…  I don’t know if I can do this.”

 

“It will be tough for all of us, but you’ll get to see the rest of JJCC again… those who knew him… you’ll all get through this.”

 

Prince lowered his head and rubbed his eyes.  The prospect of moving back in, of living with them all without Eddy made him feel ill and anxious.

 

Since he had left everyone for China, he wasn’t sure how they felt about him.  Realistically, they understood he had needed surgery, and knew the company hoped he would expand their presence in China, get more people interested.  They understood this was a good change for him, seeing how miserable he had been in Korea without friends or family or common language.

 

He knew they must understand, but he didn’t know if they forgave him.  He didn’t know if any of them would still like him, pretend to like him, since he broke up with Eddy.  Since Eddy was dead.

 

Already he had put up with the pitying glances and small probing voices asking if he was okay, poking and prodding his mental state.  If he had to endure that on one side, and had the other guys hating him on the other side, he wouldn’t be able to cope, he knew it.  He didn’t even know how Eddy had faired after he left.  He didn’t know if he left him sad, angry, brokenhearted, happy, or resigned.  He didn’t know how Eddy had dealt with it.  He didn’t know what he had said to the others.  He didn’t know how anyone had felt about him up to the accident.  He didn’t know how anyone felt about him now that Eddy was gone before he could find out.  He didn’t know.

 

Henry wasn’t sure what to expect and he was nervous.  He didn’t think he could handle being there without their support.  To see all the reminders of Eddy.  To be in the rooms where everything was a reminder of what he did and what he lost.  If they were angry, if they were cold and harsh in their own grief,  Henry didn’t think he would be able to last here.  And he doubted the company would approve of him living in a hotel room or anywhere else.  They had used enough resources to bring him back.  To plan the funeral.  They had to change so much, and now Henry was supposed to return, not as if nothing had happened, but because something had happened.  He was supposed to go back, grieve with them, live with them, train with them.  No one had told him for how long, but he figured he would be here for a while.  There were plans for tribute performances.  A small tour in his honour. Pops in Seoul wanted him back with Eddy’s new cohost for a memorial episode featuring the whole group.  There was new music and dances to learn, to express their loss to the public and help everyone heal. 

 

Finally the car slowed and Henry clamped his hands around his knees.  He wasn’t ready.  He wasn’t ready to face them.  This was not how he thought he would return here.

 

He didn’t want to return here at all.  He focused on the familiar houses of his neighbours before sparing a quick glance at his old home.  It didn’t look different enough to him somehow and he frowned at his lap.  It should look different.

 

The car pulled a complete stop and everyone else popped open doors to begin unloading.  Henry took a breath before frowning at the house again.  Silver rails leading up to the porch, sided by two trees that shielded the windows from prying eyes.   The same white walls.  The same brown door with the carved to match the panelling above it.  It swung open just as the door on Henry’s side of the vehicle was pulled open and he looked away, so eager to get this over with he didn’t even look at who would have been the first to greet him.

 

He took up his bags that his managers were unloading, mostly as a reason to cease the tremors in his hands.

 

 

 

 

 

He walked around the car with his eyes low, listening to the managers calling out greetings, waiting for other familiar voices to chime in.  But the voices all went quiet in the face of the barking that grew closer as the dogs spilled out to meet him.  An unwilling grin spread across Henry’s face.  He had truly missed their many fur babies, but in all his anxiety about returning to mourn he had forgotten they would also be there.  The dogs, but the cats too.  It was a comfort to know there was guaranteed some creatures living in the house that couldn’t hate him.

 

Someone bent down to join him in ruffling San’s fur, and Henry couldn’t help but glance up.  It was Hadon beside him, and Henry was shocked at how bad he looked.  He was pale, and had dark bags under eyes that looked surprisingly red and puffy.  His hair was the greasiest he had ever seen it, as if no one had made Hadon shower in days.  When Hadon met Henry’s eyes and Henry saw the dead anger there, he understood that maybe there was a reason everyone was leaving Hadon alone.  It didn’t seem as if the anger was directed at him personally, which was a slight relief, just that Hadon was… upset.  He had known… him… the longest of them all.  It made sense Hadon would be upset.

 

Henry held his breath as he looked away from the lifeless eyes.  The others had gathered in the entrance and were looking on. 

 

Daehwan was next closest, holding onto Hoca’s collar.  He was in shorts and a tank top that revealed all his tattoos.  He gave Henry a nod and a fleeting, sad smile.  Behind him, nervously stepping away to give the others room was Chanyul.  There was kindness in his eyes as he looked down on them, holding up a hand in a sort of wave and quietly saying hello.  Youngjin was next, a frown gracing his large mouth for once, and he was fidgeting his hands in a nervous manner but he managed to echo Chanyul’s greeting in a low, hoarse voice before frowning again.  Making up the last of his bandmates was Joonyoung.  He stood the farthest back, by the sliding door that separated the foyer from the rest of the house.  His face was in shadows… but Henry could tell he was looking at him with dislike.  But that’s how Joonyoung had always looked at him when they were free from public.  Sometimes in public.  Henry was almost glad that was so familiar, but he frowned when he saw a bottle in his hands.  In Joonyoung’s shaking hands.

 

So not everyone was dealing well.

 

Then the managers were there, bustling the dogs in and taking Henry’s bags from him.  Youngjin stepped out to make way while Joonyoung and Hadon led the way inside, Joonyoung leaving in a flounce.  Henry stood up and Youngjin guided him inside with a warm hand on his back; Daehwan patted his back as Henry passed him, Chanyul stepping behind him to give them more space.

 

Slipping off his shoes and stepping into the house, Henry was so oddly curious to see how he would react; it was like he was outside himself.  He saw himself enter the room.  He saw himself look around, maneuvering between animals, people, and chairs as he followed the others in.  The managers were herding everyone into the dining room.  He saw himself take a few steps into the kitchen, and then it hit him.  He saw through his own eyes again, and it was painful.  That was his room.  That cramped little kitchen was saturated in him, there was no other connection. 

 

Henry’s throat constricted and he tried to look past it all, to not register how empty the room felt.  He looked past it to the dining room, purposely blurring his vision till he was out.  Coming back felt like such a bad idea, but he had to.  He had to.

 

He let Youngjin guide him into a chair and settle beside him.

 

“Prince, we’ve put your things in the living room, you can sleep there with Joonyoung.” 

 

Henry looked up at the words, confused.  He couldn’t help a glance at E.co, wondering why he would need to share with him and why they wouldn’t use his room… Till it hit him.  That had been Eddy’s room too.  

 

Joonyoung merely took a long swig and glared back at him.

 

“You can move in with me instead,” was Youngjin’s quiet suggestion, words Henry could barely make out. He had to look from Joonyoung to him in shock to make sure it was Youngjin that had spoken.  He had never heard their leader speak so quietly.

 

“These next few days are going to be difficult guys, we understand.  We’re all feeling it.  The only thing on the schedule for tomorrow is going over the plan for the funeral, and we’d like everyone to run through a rehearsal of your performance.  Since his family agreed they would let you all sing at the reception for him, I think we all want to make sure you do a good job.  For Eddy.”

 

There were assenting nods and downturned eyes at this.  Henry simply looked down at the cat winding between his legs.  The coming days were going to be really hard, he knew.

 

“So…”  Youngjin began, breaking the silence.  Henry looked up to see they had been left alone, the six of them.  “Ah, Prince… How was your flight?”

 

“It was… good.”  He shifted uncomfortably.  How long could they spend on small talk?  He just wanted to escape to a bed and pass out; he didn’t want to talk about Eddy, he didn’t want to talk about music, or the funeral, or what he had been doing in China without them all.  He didn’t want to ask the things he wanted to ask, because he knew they all had been there for it.  He feared he wasn’t ready for what answers they had.  “How… are you all?”

 

“Not… not good.”  Hadon’s voice was low as he responded in English to Henry.  He had been working on his Korean while in China, and he frowned at the language switch.  It wasn’t right when there was a voice missing.

 

Joonyoung reached across the table to lightly brush against Hadon’s hands; Hadon instantly pulled away and leaned back, folding in on himself and retreating into his phone.

 

That was odd.  Odder still, because Joonyoung and Hadon rarely sat apart at home.  But Daehwan and Chanyul sat between them on one side, Youngjin and himself separated them on the other.  Now that he was looking, Henry noticed how strange Yul was behaving as well.  His chair was pushed right beside Daehwan’s and his hand was at his shoulder playing with his tank top strap.  It was a clingy motion that Henry was used to seeing from Joonyoung, but not quiet, cautious Chanyul.

 

Before he could ask about it though, mistaken as it may be, Daehwan cut him off with his own question.

 

“And Henry… How have you been?”

 

He forced a broken smile onto his face, ready to say “good” and brush everything off, when a huge crash resounded through the house.  Youngjin jumped in his chair beside him in fright, his knees even hitting the table.

 

They were used to their pets causing havoc, and Henry quickly fell back into the rhythm of leaping up and rushing to see what had been knocked over now.  He fell in line behind Daehwan, and was concerned to see him moving with an obvious limp.

 

All concern vanished from his mind, though, when he passed the dogs whimpering at the threshold and saw what had made such a noise.

 

His things were _everywhere._  

 

He looked on shocked, trying to figure out how this could have happened.  All three of his bags were open, and his clothes were spread all over the room.  Pants and shirts were strewn across the floor, his favourite sweater was over a lampshade, a sock was hanging off a framed photo of Jackie Chan.

 

Mumbled sounds of shock came from Youngjin and Hadon, entering behind him.  Joonyoung was further in the room, slowly turning in a circle as clutched his hair back.  Henry saw a bandage on the side of his forehead that had been hidden by his hair.

 

He came to face them all and raised his hands in disbelief.  “What is this guys?”  Joonyoung gave a breathless laugh as he stood there, and the hairs on the back of Henry’s neck stood up at the sound.  Joonyoung was shaking, with what Henry couldn’t tell.  “I am not cleaning this up!”  He shouted before stalking out of the room, past them all.

 

“What…?”  Henry bent to pick up a stuffed duck, still shocked.  As he was crouched there, he noticed the lone animal in the room.  Richie had been standing beside E.co in the middle of the carnage, but now he padded over to Henry.  He reached out to pat his furry head when Richie reached his feet, but instead of leaning into the touch Richie lowered his head and dropped something at Henry’s feet, meowed at him and walked away. 

 

He was reaching to pick up the item when he saw what it was and froze like he just saw Medusa.  What he saw was just as horrific.

 

It was the ring.

 

It was the ring Eddy bought him, the ring that was part of a pair.  It was the mate to Eddy’s own, that dumb ring he wore on his index finger all the time despite Henry telling him he looked horrible.  They had been on a date in the mall, Beyoncé’s Single Ladies had been playing, they had danced to it in the aisles when no one was looking, and then later that day Eddy had seen the rings and bought them.  Eddy had said it would be a small secret for them when they wore them.  Henry had smiled and accepted it, but he had never worn it.  He wore other rings, but he never wore that one. 

 

When he heard the news, he had pulled it out of the pair of socks he had bundled it up in, and he had stared at it.  He hadn’t put it on; he couldn’t.  He had been overwhelmed with a hideous, guilty feeling, and he was feeling it again.  It was a feeling that said he was a horribly boyfriend.  That said he didn’t deserve Eddy and never would.  That he would never get a ring from anyone else in this life, because he was a terrible person and he had ruined his one chance at happiness with the one person that ever made him happy.

 

It was almost worse now, because here around him were the people that had been there.  The people who actually stuck by Eddy.  The people who grieving more visibly than Henry could, likely because they were grieving more.  He was a bad boyfriend even in grief.  A bad ex boyfriend.  People who weren’t ever his boyfriend cared more and grieved more for Eddy than he did.  Joonyoung, who was known for his icy heart, was behaving more upset than Henry could.  Or would. 

 

“Prince?”  Youngjin was at his shoulder, shaking him gently from his moment of silent horror and self disgust.  “Are you okay Prince?”

 

“No.”  His voice cracked at the word, and he snatched up the ring before Simba could question it, clenching his hand so hard around it that be hoped the cold metal broke his skin.

 

“Come on let’s… I’ll clean this up later… let’s go sit with Joonyoung, have a drink.

 

Henry let Youngjin lead him back to the dining room, where they quietly resumed the seats they had taken before. No one spoke at first.  Henry still felt shaken.  The only part of Henry that felt sturdy was his fist, still wrapped around the ring.  He couldn’t let it go. He couldn’t understand how his bags had exploded like that, and how the ring could have escaped it’s stocking prison. 

 

Then Chanyul whispered something to Daehwan, who turned to whisper something back.  Assi jumped onto the table and Joonyoung leaned forward to coo lovingly at her.  Slowly they all began talking, and uneasy conversation filled the uneasy silence.

 

Henry stumbled along with his improved Korean, yet the thought crossed his mind before he could stop it.  This would be so much easier if Eddy were there.  But that’s _why_ Henry was there.   Eddy wasn’t.

 

 ***

 

Eddy saw them all seated at the table.  He saw Daehwan and Chanyul surreptitiously holding hands under the table so hard their knuckles whitened.  He saw Joonyoung’s hand shake every time he reached for the bottle to refill his own glass.  He saw Hadon quietly retreat into his phone, and he saw the grief filled lyrics he left there.  He saw Simba, struggling with helplessness, his hand dropping before he could lay a comforting palm on Henry’s shoulder.  He saw Henry.

 

That was the worst part.  Not even seeing the love of his life heartbroken and in pain.  It was seeing it, and not being able to do anything about it.  Because really, he was gone from them.

 

 _I’m here,_ he tried to tell them.  _I’m not gone._

 

_Please, make sure Henry is okay.  Take care of him._


End file.
